


A Very Sophisticated Party

by VaultOfMelkurMistress



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Comedy, F/F, F/M, In the form of cake, Lighthearted, M/M, Master party, Revenge on Simm, a bit of fun, self love, the Doctor just wants to give them her present
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:41:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25936831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VaultOfMelkurMistress/pseuds/VaultOfMelkurMistress
Summary: Missy delete's Simm's name from the guest list of the Master birthday party which includes all her other selves. It's all very sophisticated until he gate crashes. The Doctor assumes an evil plan with so many Master's gathered. It's pure comedy with some Master/Master self appreciation and absolute chaos.
Relationships: The Master/Missy (Doctor Who), Thirteenth Doctor/The Master (Doctor Who)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 35
Collections: A Mayhem of Masters





	A Very Sophisticated Party

**Author's Note:**

> With thanks to my best friend for awakening my plot bunnies. We both have a Master birthday party fic, so take a look at Resa_Saso Masterful Birthday fic and have a nice multi Master reading day :))  
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/25937095

Missy hummed as she leaned forward, a broach in one hand and a tie in the other as she brought one and then the other to her reflection in the small mirror on her console. 

“Hmm,” she mused, her eyes flitting to a communication terminal that remained, annoyingly, blank. “Tie, I'm going with the tie.”

She spun around as she grabbed her umbrella, pointing it at a needlessly large button and giving it a poke. 

“No better way to celebrate my birthday than with myself….” she gave a sideways glance at the terminal again, not for any particular reason, not that she was hoping for a happy birthday message from anyone in particular. She wasn’t waiting for one special message which would make her day, she was the queen of evil, she ruled worlds, she needed no one but herself. 

She did NOT care even a teeny tiny bit that the Doctor might have forgotten her birthday. Again. 

She paused, staring at the message on the screen inviting her other selves to the party and she smiled, imagining the fun they would have, with just themselves and no Doctor anywhere in sight. They didn’t need the Doctor. Or people who shot her. They didn’t need people who ruined her clothing with a laser blast and attempted to stop her regenerating either. No she did NOT need to celebrate her birthday with someone who tried to END her. 

“Oh honey, you are the weakest link - goodbye!” she said with an evil laugh and she deleted her past self’s name from the guest list and hit send, skipping around the console and entering coordinates before materialising with a satisfied smile. 

She decided to be fashionably late and so her future self arrived first, his other selves arriving one by one, a row of TARDIS’s each taking the form of pillars and blending in beautifully to the architecture of the hallway. He waited only a moment before his other selves began to make entrances; suits and velvet, sophistication and elegance soon filling the function room, even his past self wearing the dark hooded robe carried an air of sophistication about him - especially when he had strolled into the room, discarding his robe in one fell swoop, and thrusting it in the arms of a heavily hypnotised human attendant to reveal a suit which screamed expense and luxury. 

“A Kiton K50 suit, earth does have some good things going for it, tailoring being one,” the youngest Master said, smiling in approval. He really did appreciate a nice suit. 

“Quite,” said the velvet clad Master, bringing his hands together in applause. “Much better than a dark robe - are we all here yet?”

“Not yet, they won’t be long, anyone have any birthday messages to share?” the Master said.

“If you perhaps mean, did our dear Doctor take a moment of his time to wish us a happy birthday then I am afraid I must inform you that the answer is a definite no,” their youngest self said, with obvious offence.

“He disappoints us yet again - we wouldn't forget HIS birthday,” muttered the Master in a silver suit, that worked flawlessly with the lack of hair on his head. “We never fail to provide them with thoughtful, considered presents.” 

“Ungrateful man!” the youngest Master said.

“He simply enjoys tormenting us,” the velvet Master said. “Which is why we must torment him!”

The conversation abruptly stopped and music began to play as the doors burst open to a flurry of red and purple as Missy and their American self waltzed into the room. He spun her out across the floor before spinning her back to him, their bodies colliding as their arms wrapped around each other before he pulled her in for a kiss. They lingered, quite enjoying their embrace in front of an audience of them, before Missy looped her arms around his neck and they both turned to face the others. 

“Let’s get this party started boys,” she said with a smile, before turning back to him, dropping an arm to his waist and slipping it under his long red robe and hauling his body flush against hers before whispering against his lips. “Aren’t we all gorgeous?”

“We are, Missy,” he said, his American accent making her giggle. “Most attractive room I’ve ever been in. Kiss me.”

“Gladly,” she said, “A hand slipping around the back of his neck as she pulled him toward her, their mouths colliding as they kissed deeply and enthusiastically. 

The Master was excited to talk to each of his past selves, and his intentions were purely nostalgia and interest, or that is what he told himself as he approached each of them, dropping in the question of whether the Doctor has contacted them, every single time. He eventually resigned himself to the fact that none of them had received so much as a happy birthday message yet alone a present or a personal visit. 

Hiding his annoyance, he grabbed two glasses of champagne and handed one to Missy as he stood beside her, leaning close as he surveyed the room.

“Didn't invite him then?” he whispered.

“Did you have to ask?” she said, raising her eyebrow.

“He’s gonna be so annoyed,” he said, laughing. 

“Do you remember if he finds out and crashes our delightful affair my dear Master?”

“Sadly not, it’s always the twists we don’t seem to retain when we meet,” he said. 

“I noticed that, bit inconvenient, but it’s nice to have some surprises, even at our ages.”

The party continued on, an exquisite and sophisticated gathering filled with music, fine foods and dancing. The Masters all took to the dance floor, dancing alone with each other, switching partners - it was all very civilised. 

Until the inevitable happened.

The ex prime minister materialised and stepped outside, staring in disbelief as his TARDIS took on the same appearance as a suspicious looking row of columns. He counted them as his eyes widened in disbelief at just how many of them were having a party without him. He marched toward the sound of music and voices, shoving open the gold ornate doors and stepping into the room, his hands on his hips and he focused on Missy, as she spun from the velvet clad body of their past, to the purple of their future, his arms encircling her as he held her close to him, his hand stroking her cheek as they both turned to look at the source of the interruption. 

“Oops, did the invitation get lost in the post,” the Master said, placing a kiss softly on Missy’s lips with a chuckle. 

“You know VERY WELL, it did not get lost in the post,” the ex prime minister said sarcastically as he marched over to them, anger and disbelief flooding through him. “Which one of you did this?”

“Why blame us? The intergalactic postal service is _terrible_ honey,” Missy said, smirking as she twirled from her future self’s arms and over to the buffet table, surveying the dessert selection with interest and completely ignoring him. 

“Intergalactic postal service Missy?” he said. “INTERGALACTIC POSTAL SERVICE? You didn’t invite me to my _own birthday party_?!”

“Yes, and your point is?” she said, her hand on her hip as he walked over and stood face to face with her, glaring.

“Have to say, I would have done the same - oh I did, didn’t I?” her future self said, laughing as he grabbed a cupcake, laden with cream and darted his tongue out, sampling the soft whipped cream. 

“Oh you would, would you? And what about everyone else,” he said, not moving an inch but turning his head to glare at his past selves. “Is anyone on my side here?”

“I doubt it honey,” Missy said, smirking. “They got the memo I sent.”

“And the...what is the ridiculous earth word for those amusing things Missy has been sending us?” the youngest Master asked.

“Memes,” the American Master said, sitting down, his robe fanning out around him as he grabbed a tall glass of champagne. “She sent us memes about you. LOTS of memes.”

“ _Memes_?” he said in disbelief. “Missy you are so childish!”

_Somewhere in time and space, the Doctor watched the readings on her console in alarm, a high concentration of this level - normally she would only see the faintest trace of the Master’s TARDIS but there had been nothing and suddenly the readings were so high that she grew concerned about why._

_She sighed, tucking a small purple box into an inside pocket of her coat and picked up her sonic, realising that it was clear that this wasn’t going to plan. The Master was up to something and no doubt she would have to step in and stop it when really, all she had wanted to do was find him, just the two of them, a quiet moment._

_“Why do you always have to do this, even on your birthday?” she said, shaking her head as she watched the readings on the monitors. “Ok Doctor, let’s go.”_

  
“YOU ruined the shielding on my corset!” Missy said, glaring at him. 

“YOU destroyed my favourite coat!” he said.

“That’s ok honey, not long to go and then you’ll get _this_ coat - _quite_ the upgrade. You’ll have to just slum it in red and black a little longer, but don’t let the envy eat you up dearest,” she said, patting his arm patronisingly. “You’ll be me one day.”

He stared at her, she stared at him, their American self stepped forward, reaching between them to silently grasp a slice of lemon pie. 

“You’d love that wouldn't you?” he said.

“Well...DUH dearest, that’s why I stabbed you?” she said, mirth and danger dancing in her eyes.

“You stabbed him?” their youngest self said, shaking his head “Whatever is my future coming to”

She smiled, flitting her glance briefly to the riveted crowd of Masters. “He shot me. Tried to stop me regenerating. What do you have to say about THAT boys?”

The room fell silent, his anger seethed. Missy looked utterly victorious and he could feel the entire room staring at him in disapproval. He did the only thing he could think of at that moment - killing her again wouldn't go down well with the audience, and she simply wouldn't die anyway. He grabbed a cake, the stickiest, cream filled cake that he could reach, and slammed it into the front of her coat, staring triumphantly into her eyes as he smeared cream and icing thoroughly over her coat. 

“You did NOT, just do that,” Missy said, her eyes wide with shock. 

“Anyone else have anything to say about not inviting me?” he said, turning from Missy and staring at the others with a challenging glare. 

No one spoke, even as Missy grabbed an entire bottle of champagne, and their future self raised his arm, before hurling his cupcake directly at his face, cream and cake soon covering his mouth and cheek. He blinked, opening his mouth to protest and tell him how childish he was when Missy emptied the champagne over his head, laughing delightfully. 

“A vast improvement,” she said, giving him a sideways glance and carrying an air of total sophistication, despite wearing cream and cake all over her favourite coat. “Maybe what he needs is some sprinkles, what do you reckon boys? And sauce?”

“Don’t you DARE!” 

He grabbed everything he could from the dessert table as the entire room appeared to move toward him, hands grabbing everything they could reach as food began to fly round the room, only half of it actually landing on him as they began to coat each other in everything they could find. Missy divided under the table, laughing as she heard her past self, normally hidden by his hooded robe, declaring that he was QUITE annoyed also and had much to be aggrieved about, as he grabbed two champagne bottles and began shaking them as hard as he could. 

“Oh hi gorgeous,” Missy said as she pulled the table cloth down, securing her hiding space to find her American self, spotless and peacefully eating his lemon pie. 

“Hi yourself, Missy,” he said, ignoring the sounds of breaking glass, shouts and protests surrounding them.

“Nice pie?” she asked, leaning close as she darted her tongue out and stole a taste.

“Delicious, having fun darling?” he asked, taking a bite.

“Oh yes honey, one of my most favourite birthdays ever,” she said with a giggle as she took a bite, earning her a sigh of resignation from him as he realised he would have to share his pie. 

The Doctor stood outside, the readings on her sonic off the chart as she scanned the hallway and came to the realisation that there were in fact multiple TARDIS’s parked there and all belonging to the same person. She sighed, putting her sonic back in her pocket as she listened with a frown to the obvious sound of absolute chaos from behind the large doors to the function room. She readied herself, uncertain of what she might be facing and how many lives might be in danger - and pushed the doors quietly open, slipping inside. 

She stared in disbelief at the scene before her - one Master covered in a multitude of food and desserts, his quite round face soaked and sticky and with the grumpiest expression she had ever seen - which only made her think about how adorable he looked. The rest of the room were less covered, but in much lighter spirits, randomly throwing food at each other, the occasional quick kiss, hands being held but mostly...a food battlefield. 

“Masters,” she said, shaking her head as a cake whizzed past her, cream skimming her cheek. “MASTERS!”

They all stopped, turning to face her as each slowly came to the realisation of who she was. The Master she had set out to find stepped forward, his purple suit covered with crushed fruit and ice cream and his hair damp and sticky from what she assumed to be champagne, given that that appeared to be the only drink in the room. She felt a rush of love in her hearts at the sight of him, her hearts racing he stepped suddenly forward, stopping right in front of her and raising his hand to her cheek, his thumb swiping the cream from her face before he slipped it into his mouth and murmured with a satisfied sound. 

“I...um...you’re having a party?” she asked. 

“The very height of sophistication clearly,” the velvet Master said, with an amused chuckle. 

“As always,” the Doctor said, her eyes scanning the crowd, each face pulling at her hearts in different ways. “You’re not all here…”

The table cloth was pulled off in one fell swoop as half of the room rolled their eyes in amusement while the other half chuckled at the sight of Missy and their other self in a deep embrace on the ground under the table, having somehow become tightly wrapped in his robe as they rolled on the ground together. They paused and both turned to look at the Doctor, Missy’s eyes softening immediately as their gazes met. 

“Hi Missy,” the Doctor said.

“Hi honey,” Missy said, rolling out from under the table, and accepting the hands of her other selves as they immediately reached out to pull her up. 

“I suppose you expected a dastardly plan my dear Doctor?” she asked, her hearts warming at the sight of the Doctor. 

“Sort of, it’s always on the cards with you, but I hoped I wouldn’t. Much prefer to just give you your present...don’t worry, it’s self multiplying, you all get one.”

Missy stepped forward, her future self mirroring her action as the Doctor produced the box and placed it on the cleanest spot she could locate on a table. They each slipped a hand into hers and she felt her hearts flood with love, tightening her hold on them both as the others stepped closer in interest. 

“Memory cube, projects anywhere you like - small screen or planet sized - it has some...well, some of our better moments, and we have...a few. You’ll probably think it’s sentimental but having been given a Cyberarmy of dead humans for my birthday, I thought it was time to demonstrate nicer gifts. Happy birthday Masters.”

Missy dropped her head onto the Doctor's shoulder, their hands still clasped as the Master remained on her other side and placed a kiss on her cheek as they watched images from their past filling the entire wall.

The room remained silent, with only the contended hums from their minds, and the aftermath of an epic battle surrounding them. 


End file.
